QUILTING

Asking a quilter to mend is like asking Picasso
to paint your garage.

Before Prozac, there was quilting.

I've spent most of my life making quilts. The
rest I've just wasted.

Ask not what your fabric can do for you, but what
you can do for your fabric.

COOKING, EATING

My family said its okay that I never cook--they
don't like anything I fix anyway.

I no longer skinny dip, I chunky dip.

Help! I'm Southern and I can't stop eating!

The last time I cooked this hardly anyone got sick.

I can't cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
--Carol Siskind

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total
daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

I read recipes the same way I read science
fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well,
that's not going to happen."

I understand the concepts of cooking and
cleaning, just not how they apply to me.

"Potluck" in this house means you're lucky if the
pot is empty.

I prefer Twinkies to PopTarts because they
don't require as much cooking. -Carrie Snow

We spend the first twenty years of our life
wondering who we are going to marry. We spend
the next twenty years wondering what we're going to
have for supper.

I only have a kitchen because it came with the
house.

I may not be the world's greatest cook, but I
think you'll enjoy my cornflakes.

If our food, drinks, and service aren't up to
your standards, please lower your standards.

There are two choices for supper--Take it or
Leave it.

Vegetables are important to any diet. I
recommend carrot cake, zucchini bread, and
pumpkin pie. --Garfield

Don't ever admit you know a thing about
cooking or it will be used against you in
later life.
--Rebecca Wells, in Divine Secrets of
the Ya-ya Sisterhood

HOUSEKEEPING, ORGANIZATION

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave
a man I keep his house.
--Zsa Zsa Gabor

I don't do dishes and I don't do windows. I don't do
dishes because I have a dishwasher. And I don't
do windows because they don't fit in the dishwasher.

Treat your wastebaskets like babies: Keep them
in close reach at all times and feed and change
them often.
-Harriet Schechter, author of "Let Go of Clutter"

Some people have nothing very well organized.
And some people have nothing, very well organized.
Unknown

If everything is under control, you're going too slow.
--Mario Andretti

I cleaned my house yesterday, wish you could
have seen it.

So here I am. This modern, liberated woman, doing
so many of the exact same chores that June Cleaver
was doing, without looking nearly so pert or having
any cute aprons. Muffy Mead-Ferro,
"Confessions of a Slacker Wife"

The most popular labor-saving device today is still
a husband with money. Joey Adams

If God wanted me to clean and scrub, he would
have made my hands aluminum.

My only domestic quality is that I live in a house.

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you
want to see my house, make an appointment.

Dull women have immaculate homes.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller

A bright person can always think of something
better to do than housework.
Ruby Lou Barnhill

You wonder if I have it. I wonder where it is.
Everybody wonders how I find it.

I write down everything I want to remember. That
way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to
remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the
time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.

I thank the Lord I no longer have to go to work.
I just get out of bed in the morning, and there
it is---all around me.

Creative clutter is better than idle neatness.

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that
one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
-A.A. Milne

Said by girl: "I don't have to help my mom with
the housework. She knows how."

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life.

I can't clean house and save the world at the
same time.

At my house, "Dust" is a noun, not a verb.

Have a place for everything and keep the thing
somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice,
it is merely a custom. --Mark Twain

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.
--Mario Buatta

FAMILIES, PARENTHOOD, MARRIAGE, CHILDREN

It has changed my life to have children. It has made
me poorer and more confused.

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
See if they are yelling at the same kids.

Having children is like having a bowling alley
installed in your brain.
--Martin Mull

I have found the best way to give advice to your
children is to find out what they want and then advise
them to do it.
--Harry S. Truman

There's one thing about grandchildren-- They never
go around showing snapshots of their grandparents.
--Bessie and Beulah

When I said "I do", I didn't realize it meant I'd do
everything.

A father is a banker provided by nature.

I can handle any crisis--I have children.

Hug me, hold me, squeeze me...Pretend I'm the
remote control.

I could be a good mother if I weren't so busy
raising kids.

Children are God's way of telling you your life
is too organized.

I don't know where I'd be without kids...still
asleep probably.

Boy to mother: "Mom, what kind of job did you
have before you came to work for us?"

We childproofed our home, but they kept getting
in.

There is no such thing as "Mr. Perfect." There
is only "Mr. Trainable", who after years of work
becomes "Mr. Okay".

A little incompatibility is the spice of life,
particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
--Ogden Nash

Marriage is like taking a hot bath. After
you've been in it for a while...it isn't so hot.

She knew how to please a man but most days she
chose not to.

If you have a lot of tension and stress and
you get a headache, do what it says on the
aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and
"Keep away from children".

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in light
so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.
--Maurice Chevalier

The value of marriage is not that adults produce
children, but that children produce adults.
--Peter De Vries

A young mind is like gelatin. The idea is to put
in lots of good stuff before it sets.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women
want to hear what THEY think, in a deeper voice.
--Bill Cosby

FRIENDS

I'm so thankful for my friends. Without
them, I'd be a total stranger.

If you want to appear young and thin, hang
around old fat people.

MONEY MANAGEMENT, TIME MANAGEMENT

Its no longer a sin to be rich---Its a miracle.

Leisure time, bah. My motto is, if you want to have
leisure you should do something useful at the same
time. --Amy Stewart Winsor

Men are from Mars, Women are from Visa.

There are more things in life to worry about
than just money--how to get hold of it, for
example.

Time management is really a misnomer. The
challenge is not to manage time, but to
manage ourselves.- Stephen Covey

I have enough money to last me the rest of
my life, unless I buy something.
-Jackie Mason

Time is the coin of your life. Only you
should determine how it should be spent.
Be careful lest you let some one else
spend it for you. -Carl Sandberg

There is no good time. There is only time.

Time flies whether you're having fun or not.

One of these days is none of these days.
English proverb

Yesterday's the past. Tomorrow's the future.
But today is a gift. Thats why it's called the
present.
--Family Circus,Bill Keane

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up
in the morning and goes to bed at night and
in between does what he wants to do.
--Bob Dylan

A poor person who is unhappy is in a better
position than a rich person who is unhappy,
because the poor person has hope. He thinks
money would help. Jean Kerr

No one would remember the Good Samaritan if
he only had good intentions. He had money
as well. --Margaret Thatcher.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do
the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain

If you can do something now, do it now. If
it can't be done now, decide A) its not going
to get done, or B) when it will get done.

ART, CREATIVITY, ORIGINALITY

Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. I think
of making love and making art as being very parallel. Even the most amateur attempt can be thrilling.
Julia Cameron, "The Artist's Way"

The higher up you go, the more mistakes you're
allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough
of them, it's considered to be your style.
--Fred Astaire

The only rule in art is what works.
--Lee Fleming

Originality is nothing but judicious imitation.
--Voltaire

No good work whatever can be perfect, and the
demand for perfection is always a sign of a
misunderstanding of the ends of art.
--John Ruskin

Creative enthusiasm is often diminished
by people who ask "What is that?" when
its finished.

Art is the only way to run away without leaving
home. Twyla Tharp

A person who makes no mistakes does not
usually make anything.
--Edward Phelps

The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.
---Orson Welles

No one is ever free to do something he can't
think of.
----Karl Weick

God is really only another artist. He invented
the giraffe, the elephant, the ant. He has no
real style. He just goes on trying other things.
-–Picasso

Creativity represents a miraculous coming together
of the uninhibited energy of the child with its
apparent opposite and enemy, the sense of order
imposed on the disciplined adult intelligence.
-- Norman Podhoretz

Every creator painfully experiences the chasm
between his inner vision and its ultimate
expression. --Isaac Bashevis Singer

Creative activity could be described as a type
of learning process where teacher and pupil are
located in the same individual. --Arthur Koestler

The essential ingredient for creativity is
wasting time.--Anonymous

MOTIVATIONAL, WORK, TRYING, EFFORT

Do or do not. There is no try. –Yoda

Your fairy godmother is not coming today. Do it
yourself.

God gives blessings. Happiness is up to me.

In the end, you get what you want.

For everything there is a price. Your sanity and
inner peace come from recognizing, accepting, and
paying that price.
--Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Its not how many ideas you have. Its how many you
make happen.

All things are difficult before they are easy.

Nature arms each man with some faculty which
enables him to do easily some feat impossible
to any other. --Emerson

To fulfill our Dream, we need only to examine our
life, and do two things:
1. More of what works
2. Less of what doesn't.
. --John-Roger and Peter McWilliams

If you do what you've always done, you'll get
what you've always gotten.

What one has to do, usually can be done.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

The man who says it can't be done is generally
interrupted by someone doing it.
--Harry Emerson Fosdick

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
--Kin Hubbard

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could
not fail? Dr. Robert Schuller

For the things we have to learn before we can
do them, we learn by doing them. Aristotle

Try a thing you haven't done three times. Once,
to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to
learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out
whether you like it or not. --Virgil Thomson

Ambition wins over genius 99 percent of the time.
Sooner or later the other guy is going to want to
eat, drink, sleep, get laid, go on vacation, or go
to the bathroom. And that's when I catch up.
--Jay Leno

The will to win begins with the will to prepare.

Not what we have, but what we enjoy, is what
constitutes our abundance.

I am easily satisfied with the very best.
--Winston Churchill

It isn't what you know that counts, its what you
think of in time.

I'm not a nag. I'm a motivational speaker.

The secret of success is constancy of purpose.
--Disraeli

The higher you climb the ladder of success, the more
people will see your rear end.

Its better to plan too much and get only half of it
finished than to plan nothing and get it all done.

Opportunities are never lost. The other guy takes
those you miss.

Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.
--Thomas A. Edison

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there
is the noble art of leaving things undone. The
wisdom of life consists in the elimination of
non-essentials. Lin Yutang

That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us
to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is
changed, but that our power to do is increased.

Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from
anyone you can---there will always come a time
when you will be grateful you did.

Success is important only to the extent that it
puts one in a position to do more things one
likes to do.
Sarah Caldwell

The life we want is not merely the one we have
Chosen and made; it is the one we must be
choosing and making.
Wendell Berry

If A is success in life, then A equals X plus
Y plus Z. Work is X, Y is play, and Z is
keeping your mouth shut. --Albert Einstein

Opportunity is missed by most people because
it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
--Thomas Edison

You can't build a reputation on what you're
GOING to do. --Henry Ford

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE

You'll never get out of this life alive.

The art of living successfully consists of being
able to hold two opposite ideas in tension at the
same time: first, to make long-term plans as if
we were going to live forever; and second, to
conduct ourselves daily as if we were going to die
tomorrow.

The purpose of life is to matter---to count, to
stand for something, to have it make some
difference that we lived at all. Leo Rosten

The more often a man feels without acting, the
less he will be able to act and in the long run
the less he will be able to feel. C.S. Lewis

Don't complain you don't have what you want.
Just be thankful that you don't get what you
deserve.

The highest reward for man's toil is not what
he gets from it but what he becomes by it.
--John Ruskin

He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of
evil is for good people to do nothing.
--Edmund Burke (Note: The problem is not that
they're doing nothing, the problem is that
they're doing something else.)

There are two things to aim at in life:
first, to get what you want; and after that,
to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve
the second. Logan Pearsall Smith

I read in a book that a man called Christ went
about doing good. It is most disconcerting to
me to find that I am so easily content with just
going about.
Toyohiko Kagawa

God gives the very best to those who leave the
choice with Him.

If you have not chosen the kingdom of God
first, it will in the end make no difference
what you have chosen instead.
--Neal A. Maxwell, April 1974

True Christianity has not been tried and found
wanting. It has been found difficult and left
untried. C.S. Lewis

We humble people, we who feel ourselves
sometimes so worthless, so good for nothing, we
are not so worthless as we think. There is not
one of us but what God's love has not been
expended upon. There is not one of us that He
has not cared for or caressed. There is not
one of us that He has not desired to save and
that He has not devised means to save. There
is not one of us that He has not given angels
charge concerning. George Q. Cannon

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that
they might have joy. --Nephi, 2 Nephi 2:25, in
the Book of Mormon